Never die, ever again
by TheMagnaka
Summary: They couldn't find him after the battle so they though him dead. Thilbo Bagginshield.
1. Chapter 1

They though that Bilbo was dead. They didn't found his body but they had all saw him there, time to time, middle of the battle, helping where he could, saving their lives. But after the battle, no one had seen him. No dwarf, no man, no elf, not even Gandalf, who looked more worried than ever. Not good sigh to see, it made everyone else worry too, more than usually.

They looked and looked.

Thorin asked after him but no one could say it, not aloud, that their hobbit was dead.

So they searched.

But then it came time that they have to get rid of the dead bodies what they couldn't burry. Although it was already wintertime the corpses couldn't last over whole winter, they have to burn them.

Bofur cried, kneeling on the ground, his head buried under his arms and no one else was much better.

They told Thorin then, who was slowly recovering and for some days they though that they would lose their king.

Kili howled out his cry holding his brother who was still unconscious.

No one had had the chance to apologize, to say how sorry they were, how much they wanted to thank him, ask him to stay. They had been fools, mad with gold.

Days and days later Thorin stood again, though still sick and weary, front of his throne, the Arkenstone buried deep in the caverns, not him to find it again.

Fili, finally awake, stood beside of him with his brother and front of them was the Company, or what was left of it. Bilbo was gone.

"Alongside the Gandalf I have send the letter to his kin to the Shire. I…" Thorin's voice almost broke and he cleared his throat. "I told them that I married him, that he was my husband, our Consort and though we did not find his body from the battle field…" Again there was a pause and for a moment Thorin closed his eyes, remembering the sigh of Bilbo, Sting shining its blue light, front of him, defending him, saving his life. He never got the chance to ask his hand, to court him, to say how much he actually loved him. There had been one night, only one glorious night after the dead of the Smaug what they shared, but after that everything was gone wrong. But no one would know the truth apart the Company, and they would not tell anyone. "We have buried him as a hero what he was. He will not be forgotten. Never."

And all this time they couldn't see him, standing near them, watching them, mourning and cursing the ring in his finger. It was stuck.

#

_AN/ Sorry any mistakes. I know I have already running some other stories but I just couldn't leave this out. And to those who knows, I'm going to update Touch next._


	2. Chapter 2

_an/ uhuh, I actually got done second chapter. Thanks everyone_

#

He wasn't dead.

He was fairly sure about that.

When he first woke up in the battlefield he had been bleeding. It wasn't anything serious and he had finally got himself up and walked through the dead and those who were looking anyone who was alive. Bilbo ignored them.

He walked straight to the tent field what was slowly rising to care the injured and keep all the soldiers keep going. Walking around he heard what had happened. That Thorin, is loved one, was dying along the princes.

His mind had been so foggy when he had reached Thorin's tent and walked right inside, not noticing that no one noticed him. But when he had tried to touch Thorin he had realized that something was wrong. He couldn't touch him. Five centimeter away something had stopped him, not allowing him to go too near Thorin.

After that he had tried. Oh how much he had tried to take off that blasted ring and somehow to inform his presence to his friends and companions. And to Thorin who had survived but was now fading front of his eyes, mourning his lost love.

But he was stuck. Not he was there, in the real world, or he was not even in the ring's world. He was drop somewhere middle of everything, between two realities.

He couldn't touch anyone. He couldn't touch anything. He didn't felt hungry. Others could sense his presence, some instinct making them back off, not to come near him, to step around him.

To the world he was ghost.

But he still bled, it still hurt when his fist met the hard rock wall, he couldn't walk through the doors and was sometimes locked inside the rooms where he couldn't get away because he couldn't touch the door's handle. He still had the headache after the blow and he have to sleep when he was tired.

It was all confusing and tiring.

To be place between light and nowhere.

.

Thorin looked around his room, hoping that Bilbo would be there with him, taking care of him after hard day on court. Who would make a great meal almost from thin air. Who knew stories and songs that eased the mind and make them all happy again.

But Bilbo was gone.

He would never again able to hear his soft whispers through the long nights, he would never be able to hold him close of him, skin against the skin, hearing his heartbeats. He had promised so much to his hobbit, his whole kingdom and more, his love. And he was never able to apologize.

It made his heart ache.

"You set my heart free Bilbo." He said and sat on his bed. "And what I did to you when you just tried to save me from myself. I tried to kill you." He laid his head on the cold bed, thinking what it would have be, Bilbo lying beside him, smiling bit sadly but lovingly at him.

"I cannot sleep when I just think about you." he murmured, watching how the light casted odd shadows around him, like someone was standing there, watching him.

"I'm scared that I would never see you again. Where have you gone? What is the place for hobbits to go? I never though that I would be the one to stay, to be left here to mourn after you."

He wanted to reach his hand, touch the empty space beside him, but like always, something stopped him.

"Mahal help me. Allow me to rest tonight."

He closed his eyes.

.

Beside him Bilbo was crying.


	3. Chapter 3

"Let this be my last confession." Bilbo murmured against his skin, murmuring like it was a big secret, not shared between anyone else, although everyone knew.

And no one dared to condemn him from that.

No one couldn't, not anymore.

"I love you."

He inhaled the smell of smoke and iron.

"With all of my heart."

He let his finger linger above the skin of his cheek and eyelids, still closed, still in deep sleep.

"I always though would I be strong enough to carry your heart and then you hurt me. I wasn't enough to you when there was a Mountain's Heart to touch and cherish."

He shook his head, leaned back and watched his loved one sleeping, not knowing.

"Your fingers around my neck. I can still feel them."

Unwillingly he shivered by the memory and he closed his eyes.

"You dragged me to the edge of that blasted wall and I still cannot go there. I still see nightmares of those moments. I dream that you dropped me. Isn't that proof enough. Death people cannot dream."

He sighed and turned away, sitting on edge of the bed, not looking Thorin. He couldn't.

"I couldn't believe it, not even after that. Gandalf said that I was in shock. I can't remember anything else but you, looking me with hatred."

A pause.

"I deserved it, didn't I?"

Again he turned to see the sleeping dwarf.

"Who is the betrayer Thorin? You or me? We both?"

He giggled nervously.

"You know. I have too much time to left to think about these things. It's not good for me. I cannot touch you. You can't hear me. It's driving me mad. Mad Baggins they would call me at home. The one who creeps in shadows and doesn't make a sound. Light in his foot. A burglar. "

He giggled again and stood up.

"I don't know meaning of this, the reason why I'm here."

He walked on the small narrow window what was more like a rail on the wall, but couldn't felt the coldness of winter. There was no hunger or cold or even warmness anymore. But he could see the light of morning sun and it made his skin yearn the air of summer and the feeling of grass under his fingers.

"I should be dead."

#

He felt wrong when he woke up. His hand reached the empty place beside him and he frowned. It was months now after Bilbo had died, but every morning he had felt it, though that he felt it, his presence.

It was nonsense.

He was just grieving after his love who he had betrayed so many ways.

But he couldn't but feel it, and right now, it felt wrong.

"Bilbo?"

The word echoed silently around the room and like always, there was no answer.

Through the day he felt it, the empty space beside of him, like he was missing something very important.

"Something wrong lad?" Balin asked and Thorin hesitated.

What could he say.

It was absurd.

Bilbo was dead.

He was just longing after him.

"Thorin?"

He snapped out of his though when Balin laid his hand on his shoulder.

"What is bothering you?"


	4. Chapter 4

Bofur knew it. He just knew it that something about Bilbo's death, about his disappearing was wrong.

It started out as a feeling. Feeling that someone was beside of him.

Bifur had shrugged and said something about ghosts of Erebor and loosing a dear friends and accept the lost.

"I know but." Bofur sighed.

He just knew.

And then someone pushed him safe when the assassin tried to kill him. The arrow hit near, but would pierced through his heart if not the hands on his back. But there was no one.

"It isn't a ghost." Bofur murmured, thinking and thinking when Nori was yelling at Dwalin, Thorin just looked tired, Ori tried to calm his brother and the princes sat at the corner whispering themselves and Oin was checking him all over. Bofur felt Oin's hand over his shoulder blade and shivered.

"Does it hurt? It's just a bruise. Odd."

"What?"

"it's in the shape of a handprint. Someone pushed you?"

Bofur blinked.

"Yeah. Saved me."

"Who?" Nori was suddenly beside him. "I found you alone."

"Bilbo. It was Bilbo." Bofur replied quietly. Heavy silence fell upon the company of King. Thorin stood up.

"Are you sure?" he was eager to know and there was a light what had been missing after Bilbo's death.

"Don't get your hope up." Balin murmured when Thorin walked over Bofur. His hand was warm on Bofur's skin.

"You have felt it, don't you?" Bofur looked up at his king. "Felt _him_."

Thorin smiled, his eyes focused on the handprint, his finger trailing over it. "I can sense him. Sometimes. And I can forever know his hand, though a black mark at the skin."

"I have too." Kili said and they looked the young prince. "When I'm all alone, sometimes I can feel him beside of him, his hand over my shoulder like before. I though, I though I was just dreaming, my mind tricking me…" Kili sniffed. "Something is wrong."

"I sent a word for Tharkun. He will come." Thorin said, but then he frowned. "But I haven't sensed him days. I though, I though he was gone. And what could be the reason for him being invisible. Not being with us. Surely he now knows that I have forgiven him, that I would have asked forgiveness. Why to stay hiden…?" Thorin stopped his pacing suddenly, and there was horror in his eyes.

"That ring." Fili gasped realizing.

"Can it be? Can it be that ring?" Dwalin asked holding Ori who looked shocked.

"I have searched knowledge about that ring. But nothing had come though the library is big so I can't be sure…"

"Go and continue your search." Thorin ordered.

"I come with you." Balin said to Ori. "I think I have some idea where to look if you already haven't."

"But if Bilbo is alive. And he saved Bofur. If he's moving freely around Erebor, knowing that someone is after the Company, what would he do?" Bombur suddenly asked.

"He would go after them." Thorin grimaced.


End file.
